meaning of life...

8:18 p.m. - 2004-02-28

I think it’s finally my duty, as the genius I am, to explain once and for all the meaning of life. That’s right, I’m probably one of the only people on this earth that actually has discovered the true meaning! Some of you out there may not be ready for such a revelation so you better stop reading now – I don’t want to be held responsible for anyone committing suicide or attempts at nirvana from what I’m about to reveal. What I’m about to say is actually quite simple, even the large majority of you with mediocre or even below average intelligence will be able to understand it.

First of all, let’s start out with our birth. As far as I understand it we are all born the same way, in most cases we come out with deformed heads and covered in slime…mmmm….slime. Believe it or not, everything we do from this moment on is for a reason, and it’s this reason that defines why we’re on this earth, or the true meaning of our lives. Some people may not believe that everything we do is for a reason, but belief plays a very minor part in it, we still do what we do for a reason – we have no control of it. If we had control, then the human race probably wouldn’t be here right now. If we really examine everything we do, and the reasons WHY we do them, it is easy to see. Let me illustrate some examples and you’ll quickly see where I’m going with this.

Here is what I do in my life – I’ll try to be as silly as possible so you can get an idea, I’ll also list the reason why I do these things beside each other. I’m being VERY simple in my explanations.

Guitar: to make music that sounds good, shows off my dexterity, shows off my intelligence and skill, to impress girls

Flying: shows daring, intelligence, skill, to impress girls

Gym: to gain muscles, to attract girls

Clothing: dress nice to impress girls

Schooling: get a good education, to appear smart, to gain money and power so you can attract girls

Brush teeth: nice teeth is attractive, shows class, shows intelligence, to attract girls

Comb Hair: look attractive to attract girls

Go to Work: get money, get power, attract girls

Cars: good cars equals money, equals good mate, attractive to girls

Design Website: appear intelligent, appear sensitive, to attract girls

Eat food: to sustain life so you can attract girls

Read: so you can get more worldly and intelligent so you can attract girls

…the list goes on and on and on and on.(note:I don't do these things on "purpose" to attract the opposite sex, but if you break it down, you can relate everything to it - I don't want ppl. to get the wrong idea...lol.)

Now I shouldn’t stereotype EVERYTHING someone does in a day is to attract the opposite sex, because it’s simply not true (aka. going to the toilet is not something we do to attract girls). I’m also not saying this is the meaning of life – but it definitely makes you think, doesn’t it. And don’t give me the explanation that religion is the meaning of life, because it aint. I know more people that pick up people at church groups then I know people that pick up at bars. Church is a place where you all have a common interest so you can relate to each other and hit on each other. Don’t believe for a second that you’re any higher than the rest of us because you’re still on this earth for one reason. (this’ll get the churchies mad..hehehe). In essence everything we do is to attract a partner so we can have sex with them. Bottom line. I even used to think it went as far as procreation but I believe now that it doesn’t. Everything leads to sex – and there’s nothing you can do about it. If it all led to procreation then how can you explain gays and lesbians, because life applies to them as well. Just think of everything you do, almost everything can be attributed to sex. I dare you to say otherwise.

Just think of it the opposite way – what happens when someone gets married. Well, for MOST of my friends that I work with all, they have stopped most of things they used to do before marriage. They stop going to the gym, running, combing hair, simple grooming, smell bad, gain weight, bad clothes, etc. etc.. This is not isolated – it happens to everyone, why?? Because they’re getting sex – or at least sometimes getting sex. What’s funnier is that as soon as they reach a mid-life crisis, they start to take up all of their old past times because they’re looking to find another woman, to cheat on their wives, to have sex.

You can also relate this to the animal kingdom as well, their primal urge is to mount each other so they can have sex and procreate. Think of it this way, if you can tell me why we go to cramped, smoky, nightclubs, where we pay 5 bucks a beer so we can spend 5 hrs standing around OTHER than to meet the opposite sex, then you’re smarter than I am. The only real thing that has no direct linkage to sex, is sex itself. Bottom line, god (or someone similar etc.) gave us a primal urge to have sex, procreate, and prolong our species. Hmmm…interesting.

I can probably spend a 1000 hrs on this but I think my point has been made. So next time someone complains about how Christina Aguilera is dressed, why you want to buy that new sports car, or why you want those breast implants you have adequate justification to say “fuckoff, this is why we're here...wanna have sex?” :)

"If you don't like what I say fuck off, who cares, no one really likes you anyway"

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