Higher Learning

4:27 p.m. - 2004-02-21

Another dreary Monday. Does anyone else open their eyes in the morning and just say "hey...what if I just close my eyes again?" Seriously, what's the worst that could happen. In my case my boss would wonder where I was for awhile and then would guess that I'm probably at a morning meeting, or in the plant, or offsite somewhere. I could probably do that all week and just come in around 11 in the morning. No one would know. Heck, most people wouldn't even care. I could also probably leave around 1 or 2 as well - half the engineers in here have meetings in the afternoon. In fact, if you're still at your desk people will think you're goofing off, or have fallen asleep or something. Quite a few of the people also go out for lunch.

If you're like me, you're probably too lazy to make your own healthy lunch so you venture around town sampling all the different types of food. That's at least a 45 min to an hour break. So, let's do a little math. I'm supposed to work 7.5 hrs a day (the half hour is to make up for lunch). If I come in at 11, leave at 12, back in at 1, leave at 2, how many hours a day would I really work? Anyone, anyone....anyyyyonnee?? You in the back row - that's right - only 2 hrs!!

Let's not stop there, subtract bathroom breaks, snack time, email checking, and the pastime of chatting with co-workers - that leaves me with about 10 minutes of actual work! Hmmm...now minus the 10 min. walk to my car and back. That means I could technically fuck the dog and get away with it. Good thing I went to university, eh? Gotta love higher learning.

"If you don't like what I say fuck off, who cares, no one really likes you anyway"

previous || next